I think it is common knowledge that best friends experience weird things together. Or they have weird traditions. Or they are just weird in general.
As a tribute for our growing friendship (and 13 years of it), here is a funky list of fantabulous stuff Ki and I have done over the years.
1. A SNOWBOARDING ACCIDENT
It’s not everyday your best friend dies on a ski hill.
But in December 2015, that was exactly what happened.
Ki and I were boarding on a cat track when a lovely skier decided to smack into her. I waited and waited for her appearance as I hadn’t seen her or the accident.
Finally, when she arrived, we had a brief discussion about how badly she was hurting and we shortly came to a conclusion that I needed to contact ski patrol. I located some ladies who contacted them and returned to Ki to find her purple, cold, and with no ability to breathe and a lack of a heart beat.
I began CPR.
After a strenuous removal from the mountain, Ki was admitted to the hospital and discovered she ruptured her spleen, got a severe concussion, and many more minor injuries.
In detail, this adventure is also told in my post Why You Should Learn CPR (and Wear a Helmet)
2. JUANITO THE HORNY TOAD
Oh dear. This was when the inner little kid surpassed freshman Namayani.
One morning, my grandpa had caught us a little friend- a horny toad. I’m not sure if you, my dear reader, realize how hard that is. Those little toads are ridiculously fast.
But anyway we kept him (or her, not sure how to tell gender) and named it Juanito. Of course we soon released it.
3. A CASUAL 911 CALL
For whatever reason, Ki and I tend to attract weird situations.
During seventh grade, we were home alone at my grandma’s house, which would be fine and dandy except for the fact that the property was surrounded by drug dealers, thieves, and even those accused of more intense crimes.
We were messing around in my room when two men walked by our window and started banging on the door. Kiah and I ran to the corner of the room and pulled the blanket over ourselves. We dialed my grandma and she urged me to call 911. I refused out of the fear that they would hear us.
Then the door opened.
I hung up on my grandma and texted her instead. After some sincere effort, she managed to convince me to call 911. The operator began asking questions and I remained silent as I could hear the men walking outside my door. At this point, Ki and I had pushed the trundle bed out from underneath and we lying under the actual bed, hidden by its skirt. The operator asked me to answer in a sort of code- 1 for yes, 2 for no. As I communicated with her, telling her that I didn’t have weapons, or a locked door, Ki was beginning to giggle out of panic. These men were quite close.
At some point, about an hour and a half after they entered our home, we began to hear police sirens. We still remained under the bed until the police came in and announced themselves.
We crawled out from underneath and were shocked to find the police in full body gear, AK-47s and AR-15s in hand. Slightly shocked we walked outside to be greeted by my grandparents. All was well, but they did find tracks through the woods.
Oh and then we found the picture of the man again, a week later in an armed robbery report. Nice.
4. AUNTY KATHY’S POOR UNDERSTANDING OF DRIVING SURFACES
Aunty Kathy is one of the most awesome people on this planet. However, like all good people, she had a goofy moment.
However, it wasn’t like a simple Freudian slip or an ugly trip up some stairs. It was while driving. At Lambeau Field.
We were leaving from Family Night and we couldn’t find a way out… until Aunty Kathy finds a gap barely big enough for her car. A little suspicious, but whatever. From there she drives and makes another left, which happened to not be a road but a sidewalk.
It took her all the way to the intersection where you hit the button to cross the road to figure it out. After a 360 point turn, we made it out of the side walk, but not before plenty of people got pictures. Hand in hand with that, we wore our cheeseheads one year through the airport.
5. A SLIGHTLY DISGUSTING TRADITION
Ever since the glory days of the sixth grade, Ki and I go to Lewiston and try on prom dresses at the local Ross. Typically, they were the ugliest ones we could find and we took way too many pictures that are more than humiliating now.
Also on these trips we did other weird things such as using Arby’s tin foil to make grills and singing songs about fries to the tune of Baby Got Back. Oh and don’t forget weird glasses.
6. 120 CLAMS
Last but not least, there was one year in Michigan where we we dove for clams for hour after hour and ended up with 120 of them. We numbered them and threw them back. Ki, I am so sorry for hitting you in the head with a clam and will forever apologize.
Love you too the moon and back buddy.